you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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