i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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