went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
