i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
