Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
