He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
from now on my penis is your penis
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
