Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
