Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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