so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
