using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
