she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
