haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
