At least make sure they are 18
Why
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
