Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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