hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
