btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
