Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
