he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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