laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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