You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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