some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
