hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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