Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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