How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
