Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
