I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
