either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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