marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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