I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
