if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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