He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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