Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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