Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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