wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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