fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
