I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
