Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
