Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
