apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
