How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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