So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
