I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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