The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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