butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
