yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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