There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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