K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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