I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
the liver wants what the liver wants
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
