You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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