smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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