dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
